Guh. Back to Monday. Owen and Milo are napping-ish. I hear one of them mumbling, but hopefully that fades into nap. They're both balls-out tired as hell.
In slightly the same vein as last week's forced trip to the forest preserve, I made damn sure we made it to the lake house this weekend. Even if that meant driving up Saturday late afternoon and home Sunday late afternoon. Must get out of city even if only for a second. It ruled. Lots and Lots of amazing friends. Midnight cruise on the pontoon. Lauren made Mojitos. Carolynn wore a tie dyed wolf dress. Smores. Cut off sleeves. Owen even rode on a tractor with Uncle Kyle.
Unfortunately, I was ill prepared for the lake house. I guess all of the excitement overwhelmed me. Too much excitement and sun and dehydration and waves made for a sea sick Rachel upon boarding the pontoon on Sunday. I'm seriously so bummed. Filip took Owen out swimming and he loved it! I missed all the fun feeling like I was about to upchuck the whole time. So bummed about missing everything and not getting photos. We seriously want to get back to the lake house before the end of the summer. We love Wisconsin. This is the only photo I got just before swimming and just before the nausea really set in:
Really, so bummed. I think I'm going to force us to go to the Point this weekend to get Owen in the water again. dang. I'm a dope sometimes. Never underestimate the power of Legend Lake.
And here's where I take this post all sentimental, like I do. I have no idea how to do things. I feel like I know a lot of stuff, but really, I don't. When people compliment us on Owen and I say, "I don't know what we're doing, but whatever it is it seems to be working, so we'll just keep being normal us, I guess," I really mean that. I have no idea what I'm doing and I doubt all the things we do. I have no idea and will continue to keep trying to figure it out on a daily basis. It's scary, but he's a happy baby and he's pretty well behaved, so yeah. When we were on the boat Owen briefly fell asleep on my chest. It was pretty quiet, no conversations at the moment and Carolynn said to me, "You're a good mommy." And that seriously made me feel like a million bucks, even though I felt like I was turning green. My eyes welled up and I think I tried to play it off like it was the wind or some water splashed in my face. I don't know. I never pictured myself a mom before spontaneously deciding to have a kid with Filip. I never wanted to be pregnant. I never had any interest in having kids. I didn't like kids. I mean, I like my friends kids, but you know. So, yeah. I guess having one of my favorite people ever tell me that was one of the best things I've ever heard. Carolynn's daughter is almost 3, and I think she's a hilariously awesome mom and Audrey is a ridiculously hilarious and awesome kid. Carolynn was my first friend who had a kid and I moved back to Chicago just in time to be around for it. I don't know, that means a lot to me. Thanks, Smoot.
I've learned more in the past 2 years than I have all the previous years combined. Lots of important lessons in there. Lately I keep thinking about how good it is to remember to carve out the bad parts of the apple and enjoy the rest of it instead of bitching about having a rotten apple, you know? Just carve out the rotten stuff and everything is really good. It's not that big of a deal. We're right where we're supposed to be and I don't have a single regret. Well, except for not taking care of myself and spending most of Sunday dizzy, but you know what I mean, in the grand scheme of things. I love my boys and all of our friends and really wish every weekend could be like this past weekend. (again, sans the motion sickness part, but even still, I can't really complain.)