150 days. typing for the sake of typing while it is quiet.

ba-ba. nap. coffee. chat with filip. another ba-ba. cold chilin. hanging with neighbor and her greyhound. nap. transcribe. ba-ba. nap. blog.
i would like a really decadent desert biscuit right now.
then, meet with another mama in a bit. possibly a quick breverage with brandyn. delicious dinner of italian sausages and more brussel sprouts following. then, possibly more transcribing. afterwards, a movie maybe, or more reading, whatever, accompanied by a dogfish 90 minute ipa. very later, welcoming my visiting cousin josh and his friend for the weekend. in between, more ba-bas, bumbo, laughing, desmond dekker (O's favorite), a few uh-guhs and possibly more naps.

that amounts to a pretty good day, i think.

i just finished reading a couple books brandyn lent me: twilight of the superheroes, deborah eisenberg and nobody belongs here more than you, miranda july. fantastic. well, miranda july was good albiet awkward and uncomfortable. deborah eisenberg was great. so good. i love reading a book from an author i've never read and getting so pumped about it that i want to read everything that person has ever written right NOW. although, i'm not doing that. i'm moving onto tolstoy. quite the opposite. sheesh. but i need this right now. learning all this transcribing stuff and actually making words and grammar my job now, i realize, yet again, how important it is to constantly read. i like being re-excited about it. O's kind of into it, too. until he falls asleep.

what do yall do when you have a persona non grata? just curious.

yesterday ruled, so hard. milo & owen. owen's first friend of his own age. this is something special.



after hangin with laura and milo through the afternoon, i finished a small bit of work, hung out with cesar and swung by the helliges for a little bit of catching up. E is porkin out! looking good. the whole family is looking good. i'm really, so glad they are in my life. i'm really so glad all yall are in my life. this past year, all these changes have brought so many amazing people into my life whereas we might have never crossed paths otherwise. those are the things worthwhile. seriously. imma senda showt owt to my shawty brandyn, da vetranos, mah girl hiedi and tuesday - yer blessed, nikko gurl you crazy, angie- my boo, dee- where would i be wit out you?, smoot- one word: doubleheat. i don't know what that just was, but i entertained myself, at least. you know what i mean. just keepin in mind what is the most important, thats all.

so, my cousin, josh, and a friend of his are staying with us this weekend. i'm pretty pumped. i've been naggin this kid to visit chicago forever. art school is callin his name. he's a perfect fit, i'm excited to show him around. this is good.

just got a letter in the mail from my grandma gladys. made my day!

ok. i think four is probably a good time to retire my relaxin pants for the day. i don't want to. but i got too. this is gettin ridiculous.

146 days.

monday. guh. today was totally a monday.

Weekend was nice. Friday my mom came up for a visit and to soak up as much Owen time as the weekend would let her. She came with lots of things for Owen in tow, which is always awesome. She brought him some new toys and as it happens, Owen totally decided to actually recognize, play and enjoy toys while she was here. It was pretty cute. He hasn't expressed much interest in buddies until now. He has also started reaching for the pets! Really, its the most hilarious thing. He hones in, laughs and giggles when they are near him and just over the past few days he has started reaching out to touch them without us prompting him. It's really incredible.
So right, back to the weekend. Filip made the most delicious spaghetti and meatballs for dinner Friday. We just hung around chatting and hanging out with Owen. Saturday we ventured out for a Bumbo and successfully found one! Totally thrilled! This kid looks great sitting in a Bumbo!

After acquiring a Bumbo we made a trip to Whole Foods & Stanleys, and I think it was a life changing experience for my mom! So awesome! She's checking out the Whole Foods in Saint Louis! So exciting, I felt pretty good about that. That evening we hung around the house. Filip's brother joined us for a bit and we made even more delicious meatball sandwiches. Sunday morning I made a big breakfast and we lazily hung around with the soccer game on. My mom left late morning just as Owen zonked out. I know its not easy for her to leave. But, at very least, she can look forward to the next trip, right?
Sunday was spent boring and lazy. SO AWESOME. TV was murmuring in the background, Owen and Filip were napping in intervals, reading, chess, boredom. It has been a really, really long time since we've had a day like that. Quiet and relaxing and just good. Nice to forget about a few things, even if only briefly. It was much needed. Early that evening we headed to Lauren & Jason's cozy home for cocktails and a wonderfully delicious dinner! Manhattans, boeuf, rum cake, a Douglas Fir digestif, good music, great conversations. I want more days like yesterday.

So, all weekend I've been back and forth, and now waiting on, hopefully, my last round of revisions for some preliminary stuff I've been transcribing for my new job! I think I may have gotten the most ideal job, if only this opportunity would have presented itself while I was pregnant! I'm working from home transcribing and time-coding some awesome stuff for an a/v archiving company. seriously, so perfect. All that time in between ba-bas and diaper changes playing letterblox is totally paying off. It's pretty awesome all around and so perfect and ideal right now, not to mention that my nutty, spastic, slightly OCD brain is having a ball with this and I'm totally enjoying it. When I get this last bit of feedback, I get the go ahead to knock myself out transcribing to my hearts desire. It's dreamy. Go words! Hooray for working in my unders at 3 in the morning! Three cheers for being our own nanny! Yippee for never really having to see a boss in real life, because let's face it, me & bosses have a rocky past. I'm pumped about this. The past couple of days I have been so anxious to get through this beginning phase of learning and editing, I just want to get to plowing through this non-stop! But, I am thankful that I had yesterday to chill before I get into this full time.

I've also got lots of other things and opportunities I'm very excited about. I'm meeting with several awesome moms to talk about part-time nannying and nanny-shares in the neighborhood. Knitting class starts tomorrow night! I think Dee and I are going to treat ourselves to yummy chocolate treats to celebrate this tiny success! I'm also nearly positive that I am ready to sign a contract with a company that I'm pretty excited to be a part of, I've just been a little nervous about making a commitment just yet. I really, really want the position, but I also want to be fair and with things being a little unsteady lately, I don't want to commit and back out of something I can't take on. But yeah, I think I'm ready to go ahead! I'm going to sleep on it one last night.

Guh. But even through all of this stuff, today is a Monday, no denying. It's been kind of a bummer of a day. All of these rainy, dreary days have been exhausting me even further. I'm making honest efforts, I'm being sincere. I just want things to be okay across the board, and I think that is a pretty normal thing for a person to want. I don't feel like it's outrageously selfish to want things to be better. I feel like it would be more work to carry a grudge, and I don't really know, but part of me feels like that can be pretty selfish. It sucks, it really does. Ryan always use to tell me "you can turn this around, just turn it around." Maybe I didn't consider that enough then, but I've been considering it a lot over the past few months. I'm glad it stuck with me, it's very good advice that I appreciate. I'm doing what I can.

Enough of that. I probably don't have to say that I've been nutty over Yo Gabba Gabba lately, and Owen and I have a couple minutes here and there of Yo Gabba Gabba time. My favorite is Cool Tricks. Seriously, I love it. I've been singing the Cool Tricks song all day. COOL COOL COOL COOL COOL TRICKS! This Cool Tricks, is my absolute favorite, it tops Soko and his Theremin. Dang it! Youtubes won't let me imbed it, but it's so worth clicking this link, do it! You have to watch this, it's freakin hilarious! I love Rhys Darby!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4lVKbXQ0KI

Sweet boner! In the time I've been drafting this out, I received my approval to transcribe my little heart out!!! Here we go!!!

142 days

sheesh. lots to say but no time to say it right now. i just wanted to get a quick post up and share a few things!

holy cow...look at O! Last week Owen and I visited Dee in her studio to get some planning underway, which I will explain shortly. While there, her friend Michelle popped in to say hello and to meet Owen. She also has a studio in the same building as Dee and before I knew it, we were in an impromptu photo session! She took some amazing shots. We totally had a blast! It was so awesome and sweet, and I'm so very excited she took some great photos of Owen! You can see a few of them here at her blog!

So, Dee & I have done some brainstorming and planning and have organized knitting classes!! So exciting and I'm really stoked to actually put some of this knowledge to good use, and teach my friends! We're planning more classes for the future, more advanced projects and other crafty skills as well. I'd love for more of you to join us, we have several spaces left open. Please contact me if interested and please pass this along to anyone you think may be interested as well! Here are the details:

Basic Knitting

2 week course, Tuesday Feb. 23rd & Tuesday March 2nd 7:30 - 9:30 p.m.

or

1 afternoon course, Sunday Feb. 28th, 1:00 - 4:00 p.m.

$30.00.  Payment of $15.00 in advance to book your place.  Remainder of payment due first evening of class.

You will need to bring:

1 pair of straight knitting needles. Size US 8 or larger, recommended.
Yarn.  Worsted or bulky weight wool, recommended.

In this course you will learn all of the basics of knitting, everything you need to know to get started!  This will include casting on, learning the two stitches of knitting, the knit & purl, understanding needle size & yarn size, gauge, basic patterns and variations - garter stitch, stockinette stitch, rib stitch, etc., shaping, increasing & decreasing stitches, binding off, finishing, and Pom Poms!!!

Advanced Hat Course

3 week course, Tuesday March 9th, 16th & 23rd, 7:30 - 9:00 p.m.

$45.00. Payment of $15.00 in advance to book your place.  Remainder of payment due first evening of class.

You will need to bring:

1 set of double-pointed needles, size according to pattern.
Yarn, according to pattern.
Optional: Stitch holders, darning needles.

In this course, you will knit a hat from beginning to end! We will provide 2 different styles of basic hat patterns (a stocking cap or beret/tam style) to choose from, and have completed models as reference.  You will learn how to begin the project, knit in the round, incorporate basic knitting variations, read & follow a pattern, understand knit construction, shaping, and finishing.  This is a great, quick session to expand or refresh your knitting skills, and follows the Basic Knitting course perfectly!!!

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Classes will be held at 2846 W. North Ave, Suite 2R, enter at the side door on Fransisco.  Cash & Paypal accepted methods of payment.  Contact Rachel Ullrich 312.375.3040 or Dee Clements 773.957.4631 with any questions or to book your place!

127 days

woah. how did i miss the 100 day mark? not sure. i know that is not the only thing i've missed recently.

so much in so little time! its really remarkable. so, as of 127 days Owen is the picture of health! weighing in at 15 pounds & 29-ish inches long (and counting, these were measured at the end of last week, so i could be off already), this guy is in the 97th percentile for height and somewhere around the 90th percentile for weight! it really is unbelievably amazing how rapidly all this is happening. two days ago he started holding his feet anytime he's laying down on his back when he doesn't feel like rolling over. its pretty hilarious. so weird that he started doing this 2 days ago. 3 days he couldn't, and all of a sudden he can. everything has been like that. its not like there are small changes that sort of slip by, and then you realize it and wonder how long its been that way. we see so many changes, daily, and they are all so intense and surprising! obviously, he's been rolling around like a nut. he rolls over, does some push ups, and either screeches a little or zonks out. several months ago, he was attempting to roll and would accidentally get there on occasion, but now it is intentional and he's really good at it. so awesome.
the other night we decided to see what he would do with a bit of cantaloupe. hilarity ensued. i really didn't think he'd show interest yet. we were both just anxious and curious to see how he would react. surprisingly, he went ape-shit. he totally 'monkey-brains-ed' that sucker. loved it! he slobbered up and gummed down a good handful of pieces. that totally geared us up and we are really excited to start cooking for him. thursday we're making a ton of baby food. most will go in the freezer for a minute. i'm really curious to see what he takes a liking to.

this is totally off subject. and angie, i'm totally excluding you from this next statement, because you're just amazingly adorable and i get a kick out of everything you do, so right, not counting you, because its different, trust me. i think its pretty weird and lame to "like" your own posts, comment on them and follow yourself via twitter, blogger, etc. really? i don't know. i don't really know anything, but seems pretty tacky. kind of like that retard with the burberry diaper bag & matching baby decked out head to toe in nova check at smoque last night. real classy. her baby probably also likes its own posts and follows itself on blogger.

well, me? i'm ok. pretty well, actually. except for, what might be a case of tmj due to excessive teeth grinding and jaw clenching. i've always had a nasty habit of doing so in my sleep. who would have thought that would get worse after having a baby? ha. i'm getting a guard and have been hot-compressing my jaw, it'll be fine in a bit, i think. no biggie, really.
otherwise, i think i'm pretty much regular again. at some point i may have mentioned that i thought i could have been going through that post-partum 6 week-ish phase of losing hair, hormones regulating, etc. and while i do believe most of that has passed (its been a minute), i think my body was a little late on finally releasing all of that extra hair it was hanging onto. holy god, the past few weeks have been gross. i thought about building a replica of myself out of hair and surprising Filip with it. literally, that could happen. i've managed to regularly* wash my hair to try and alleviate the situation. yesterday i decided i had had quite enough of my overgrown bangs so i chopped about 3 inches off in the bathroom and it turned out quite nice. but, i'm very deserving of the whole 9 yards from Mops when i get a minute to make that happen.

still not fitting back into my favorite pencil skirt or my totally torn up favorite denims, which were the first things i grew out of, but i'll get there, i'm sure. lots of my other favorite things are starting to make their way back into my everyday wardrobe, which is regular and nice.
i'm starting to realize the importance of making sure to make time for myself. its been really tough, and there's a fine line between everything. not easy. well, it is easy, but its also easy to get caught up into mini routines or something else or whatever and forget, and personally, i remember when i'm too far gone and already irritated and ready to blow my brains out. so right, i've been making a huge effort lately to avoid those situations. starting next week i'm going to be hanging out with a really amazing guy named Ceasar every thursday evening, maybe some other times in between. He's 3 and really awesome. i'm very excited. i'm still looking to start tennis lessons soon, but i think that might wait until later, because i'm totally excited to sign up for trapeze lessons. a friend of mine was posting videos of her trapeze lessons while i was pregnant and i got all pumped and excited. i'm totally doing it. can't wait! something to look forward to in the short term. i've been learning that short term things to look forward to are very important. we have some really awesome major long term things we're looking forward to, but right now things are so concentrated and intense, that those things seem super far away. the little things have been motivating. i need motivation right now. and more sunlight.

owen and i have just about had it with the winter. we've been out on walks and and have been trying to get out and about more often, as long as there is minimal snow and it is above 30 degrees. stir crazy, i tell ya. not just me either. if this kid doesn't get out of the house often we'll have a fuss-monster on our hands in the evenings.

awe. remember my last post from previous holidays? filip and i were finally able to get owen in a photobooth. he got pretty irate about the flash by the 3rd set, but they're cute as all get-out. we'll go back again soon. these are from about a month ago already. dang, time is seriously going too fast now.




my great friends matt & jen just recently welcomed their little guy, Elias Palmer into the world. so gosh dang incredible.

we're overjoyed for them. its really totally insane, and funny, because i knew it was going to happen like this, its no shocker, but its really happening. "pregnant ladies club" is drawing to a close and now its "mom club" or even better "milf club." haha. the whole range of experiences among all of us is nothing i could have imagined. i mean, i didn't really have any expectations for myself, much less for anyone else because, you know, you just can't. all eyes on nikko now...early april! since Elias came about, i've had these bizarre pangs of sadness and nostalgia. mostly now because, for the first few months at least, Elias is providing a point of comparison so i can actually see how much Owen has already developed and grown and all of the differences that will surely even out around a year or so. it hits me from time to time that i can't stop Owen from growing. and i don't want to, but he's not going to be this ever again. we'll never have this again. things will never be this way again ever in my life. its really terribly sad, while at the same time i couldn't be excited to see this guy turn 1 year old, or 2 or 5. I dunno, all part of the picture, you know? its just so overwhelming in a way that is completely unexplainable, you just have to know what i mean from experience, i guess. i don't know, or maybe not. but it really is overwhelming for me.

i always feel very accomplished after sending out lots of letters and other pieces of mail. why is that so gratifying? equally as gratifying is putting black corners on photographs. i did a ton of that yesterday too.

today is a day where my patience is really being tested. i would rather it wasn't. i would also rather like biscuits and coffee right now.

addicted to omgpop lately. its bad. but perfect because i cannot engage in anything serious or intense ever, but bad. when i fall asleep i'm spelling out words in letterblox. kind of like when you play too much tetris and your tetris-ing everytime you close your eyes.