ending 21, starting 22 weeks

hiiiiiieeee.
things have been ok lately, i think. i don't feel like blogging right now but i think i'll try to force my way through this. i'm feeling lazy this afternoon. this morning was pretty awesome, a super nice brunch with another pregnant lady and friends of the 'baby-crazy' sort. pretty hilarious.

my mom came to visit last weekend, which was pretty nice and laid back. i was a bit overwhelmed. She came bearing lots of baby gifts. totally awesome vintage baby toys and things, and tons of regular onesies and diapers and things like that. it was super fun, but i think it hit both me and filip that we actually have to start preparing. i felt a little panicky for a minute, like i'm super far behind and we don't have enough stuff or we're not ready, but then i just let it go. its going to be fine. we don't have to have everything, or hardly anything. we'll have what we need and we don't have to need a lot. everything is going to happen in due time. i'm not really freaked out. we're good. and we're happy, so that's pretty much all we need. ok, enough of that sort of crap, here's a few of the amazing vintage baby things my mom brought our little booger:

totally fucking awesome vintage baby scale. finally able to prove that filip's cats are fat, weighing it at 17 lbs...



yay! orginal Tommee Tippee hot plate dinner in original box and Tommee Tippee Cup!


and this kids totally gonna rock out all the time on all its vintage fisher-price stuff. haven't gotten a vintage "my first turntable" yet though...



its just too much!


and the most amazing amazing baby book i could imagine. the only baby book i'd want! unbelievable! completely un-used and in its original box! i'm so excited! this kid needs to get here so i can start filling this stuff in! the illustrations are adorable!





and seriously, this isn't even the beginning. my mom, is for sure, the most baby crazy of them all.

otherwise, i've been busy busy busy this week embroidering my fingers off while putting season 2 and 3 of Doctor Who under my belt. after my last post i was finally motivated to actually start an Etsy shop of my own. I've come up with tons of hair-brained ideas to sell on etsy, but after a few minutes, those ideas have all turned pear-shaped, you know? i think i really could embroider my way through this whole pregnancy. lets just hope people actually start buying my baby clothes! i'm still getting adjusted to listing on etsy as opposed to ebay, and i definitely need some cutesy banners and the such. so please be patient with my bare-bones minimal-ness for now, but i'm getting there. either way, forward my link to everyone! mama needs new shoes! and more goldfish snacks! i've been plowing through these things like i'm a dalek! EXTERMINATE!

and lastly, i think i'm gonna be in trouble. this baby has been on the move like never before. its totally getting stronger everyday and totally moving, A LOT. its always normal and quiet until about 7 or 8 ish every evening and then its banging around in there non-stop! After dinner its pretty still for a while, then it kicks back up again when i'm trying to sleep. i think it doesn't like when i lay on my back at all. total nerd baby already. this is the weirdest thing. totally feels so bizarre.

twenty! halfsies!

wow. yeh. i'm in the middle of my twentieth week. halfway there dudes. let me tell you a little how i feel at twenty weeks:

*i want to punch every random person who thinks they can give me their 2 cents. last i checked, all yall aren't my midwife, or my doula, or anyone i even know. shut the fuck up. you are horrendously annoying and you haven't the slightest about what's good for me. i've been kinda mellow about it, mostly quietly venting to filip, but its about to get public and i'm about to be a really rude bitch. i can drink my goddamn coffee if i fucking want to.

*there have been a good handful of random moments, mostly when we've been at a restaurant or somewhere in public, where i get this overwhelming feeling of a mixture of what i think is dread, depression, sadness, definitely loneliness, and some other unsavory things mixed in and i want to cry so bad. tears well up and my face gets all hot and i look at filip and that makes it harder not to cry. i dunno. it usually goes away within twenty minutes or so but jeez, does it blow!

*embarrassment. woah. i've never ever, in my entire life, been over-weight or had any weight to spare even. some would say that i could have been under-weight but i always thought i was just fine, i mean, everyone knows i can put a burrito (and then some) away like no bodies business. at any rate, i dunno if its because all of a sudden i'm this massive cow that isn't getting any smaller, or the fucking bullshit gossipy crap that is on the outskirts of friends and people i care about that sorta trickles in unwanted, or just the inability to adjust in a timely manner to these drastic changes but every so often i'm super fucking embarrassed of myself. i can only utilize a quarter of my wardrobe, let us not get into all the ways that sucks. i run outta breath really quick. it's getting painful to put socks on and to tie my shoes. i can't walk fast enough to even keep up with filip anymore and its frustrating as all hell, i've always been a quick walker. i dunno...the list could go on, but these are some things that just came up right quick.

aside from these apparent negatives, some great things have been happening! we moved! omg. we're both the happiest we could be, i think. our place is beautiful. and it rules. and all the animals are adjusting to each other pretty well. they're by no means friends yet, but acquaintances, i think, so far. we've got tons and tons of space, amazing backyard, nice neighbors and lots of nice blocks to walk and we're pretty central to most things. my moms visiting again this weekend, but maybe next weekend or the following we'd love to have our friends over for snacks and such!

kicius has already started taking tips on burrowing from jonah
and did i mention how close we are to tastee freez?
so yeh, we're settling in nicely and things are getting to be normal. i'm re-focusing on ebay again, which is picking back up nicely, and i couldn't be more pleased with it! I've been able to get back to baby crafting and watching doctor who, which is great! i'm so glad and feel normal again. when my sister came to visit awhile ago she brought me my first baby gifts i've received which were some awesome glass baby bottles and organic onesies for me to embroider. i've finally gotten around to embroidering them! i'm really happy with them, filip thinks i'm a big nerd. the eames rocker and the bertoia are my favorite, naturally.


and this is the first baby sweater i've knit. its malabrigo worsted and i have some vintage deer antler buttons i plan on using. we're gonna have to get this kid in the library with a tiny pipe!

and here's the awesome awesome austrian modern design, gender neutral, maple baby rattle jen got for our little nerd! so perfect! i'm in love with it! kinda don't want the kid slobbering all over it, hehe.

and lastly, i briefly mentioned in my bit of ranting that i had a doula! and i do! yiiiiiiis! thanks to some help from crystal, i have found a student doula to assist me in my birth! she's rad, and i'll happily refer her to any future pregnant friends! we spent a good 2 ish hours over coffee discussing pretty much everything and there was no question in the end! i signed her on immediately! we're both really stoked, and on top of everything, she's hookin me up with tons of insight and info on becoming a doula myself during this whole process! and i'll be her first home birth! i'm really relieved and really happy. already, she's given me a ton of great advice and good ways to look at and handle certain situations. i'm really glad to have her a part of everything! yes yes yes! pretty exciting.
this is all totally nuts. seriously. i'm having a kid, and i'm getting ready for it. seems totally surreal. i'm totally not complaining though. i think it'll turn out pretty cute.